Self belief.

Every New Years Eve/New Years Day that Hunter and I have been together { save for the first NYE we were together.  We were too busy taping pop culture to our foreheads and drinking bottle after bottle of champagne. } we write out our new years resolutions and close them up in a mason jar without showing the other person.  Then, the following New Years Eve/Day we open up the jar and read each other's goals for that year and talk about how we succeeded in these goals and applied them to our daily life.  It's one of my favorite things ever.  This year I wrote down two goals.  I won't tell you the main one, but the 2nd resolution written in small writing under my big one was "…and quit my day job."  I wrote it with the sole intention of putting it out in the universe and seeing where it would take me in the months ahead.  Never ever when I wrote it did I think it would manifest within 30 days of writing it down!  January proved to be a big month for me.  I was pursued by a local business here in town and received a job offer.  I was tempted to accept this position but there were too many "ehh, this isn't ideal" moments than there were "omg this would be so fun!" moments.   But, it lit the fire and finally motivated me to do something about my current work situation.  Which again, wasn't a bad situation.  It was just fine.  

Ahh, that lovely word.  Fine.  The biggest eye opener that I needed a change in my day to day pretty much boiled down to the word fine.  Day after day { afterdayafterday } when I would get home from the office, Hunter and I would have this exact same conversation

him: How was your day today?!

her: It was fine.

him: Just fine?

her: Yea…just fine.

After 5 days in a row of that - it gets pretty old.  I realize that not every day will be fireworks, or challenging, or omg today was greatgoodfantastic!, but I wanted it to be better than fine.  Good gravy for my sanity I needed it to be better than fine!  

So what is next?  This Friday, March 20th will be my last day working as a Multimedia AdRep with the Steamboat Pilot and Today.  Ahh!  I will have { some much needed } time off before I start my new gig.  The new gig being taking over as manager for a local bed and breakfast here in town!  I am giddy with excitement for the challenges and opportunity that lies ahead of me.  I'm looking forward to more flexibility in my days, the thrill that comes with being responsible for running a fully functioning business and the chance to express creativity in a whole brand new spankin' way.  

You guys, I'm so excited.

I have received such incredibly sweet comments on my departure from the newspaper and the most unexpected and heartfelt encouragement for this next chapter in my life.  I keep saying that I wasn't necessarily looking for a new job, this new job found me.  Which makes leaving my crazy kewl co-workers and clients that much more difficult.  But with every change that I've been through in the past 2.5 years since leaving my comfort zone of Denver, I have great confidence that these friendships and routines that I've built up over the past year+ will take on a whole new beautiful spin of their own. 

I had jotted the above quote down several weeks ago while watching a Perennial Plate video.  It was another one of those quotes and ahhh'ha! moments that hit me square in the face.  A moment that was heavy with encouragement and potential.

Breathe.

If you've asked me "How are you?!" lately, what I want to respond with is "I'm tired.  I'm over worked.  I'm in desperate need of a quiet solo night in with candle after candle, girlie crap tv and wine.  And tea.  And my crochet.  I miss sleeping past 6:30am.  I miss not working everyday.  I miss being able to clean, and do crafts and being able to go for a leisurely walk and I miss spending my lunch break at the gym/going for a run versus working/quick meetings for the next big thing."  Instead, what I do respond with is "There has been a lot going on lately!  My days have been packed but it's wildly rewarding on top of painfully exhausting."  

My newspaper boss just asked me this afternoon "How are you doing?" and I said "Oh, I'm fine!" and she continued to ask me 3 times if I was sure.  Ha!  #walkingzombie #lookaway #monster  Anyway, I want to post a few things about what are making my crazed days a little less crazed and help me keep my eye on the prize.  

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The clean and simple updated blog designs to both Edible Perspective and Bev Cooks have left me all heart eyed not to mention itching for some downtime to work up giving my site a clean and simple facelift.

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Before I left for California this past December, I promised myself that I would drag my parents and take a trip to In n Out. I've only been there twice in the 5 years that my parents have lived in CA.  For some reason in December I was really craving that indulgence.  No surprise that I talked myself out of going and while my hips and ass are thankful we skipped the trip, my craving still hasn't subsided at all.  This copycat recipe snagged my attention and I would looooove to give it a go soon!

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Serial.  All the livelong day, Serial.  I had heard whisperings of the Serial podcast around, but it wasn't until I read LC's post on her favorite Podcasts that I finally bit.  Once I started listening, I could.not.stop.listening.  I posted this to my Facebook a few weeks ago:

Sometimes I'm unintentionally a little slow on jumping on the popular entertainment bandwagons. TV shows, movies etc. This week's bandwagon I finally jumped on? Podcasts. Most specifically Serial. Needless to say I'm absolutely, positively hooked. I'm on on Episode 07 and am already sad at the thought of catching up to the final Episode 12. Did Adnan do it?! Ahhhhhh!

And one of Hunter's high school best friends commented:

Oh man, my wife loved that radio podcast. I came home everyday to her with headphones on with this intense look on her face.

which made me laugh out loud.  Rather than listen to it with headphones, I would hook it up to Hunter's bluetooth speaker.  He would get home from work and try and greet me, ask about the day etc and I would just respond with wide eyed head nods before going to my phone and backing the Podcast up :30+ seconds as to not miss a single word.

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I will make homemade granola one of these days.  I will.  Right after I redesign my blog, get caught up on my craft projects, get a birthday gift from November in the mail and a Christmas gift from December in the mail.  This post got me all twitter-pated to get after it.  I.will.make.homemade.granola.

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One of my sweetest friends here in Steamboat shared this song/video with me this afternoon.  My very favorite part is where he repeats 

Each day that I wake, I will praise, I will praise.

Each day that I wake, I give thanks, I give thanks.

Each day that I wake, I will praise, I will praise.

Each day that I wake, I give thanks, I give thanks.

And they day that I don't wake up and transcend the holy makeup, I am capable, I am powerful.

The day that I don't wake up and transcend the holy make up, I am on my way to a different place.

Gah.  I was listening to this song not too closely while working on other things and that group of lyrics gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes.  It was such a beautiful reminder of this phase in my life to instead of blowing through the day living by a to-do list to pause and praise!  And give thanks!  It sounds quite cliche but also completely necessary to get through challenging times.

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This cozy image of relaxation, indulgence and comfort.  Give to me all the relaxation, indulgence and comfort!

::via::

To my sister on her birthday.

March 5th brings me an unmeasurable amount of joy.  Year after year after year I wake up and notice extra sunshine, joy and kindness in the day.  It's always been a day to reflect on how much love my sister Katie has brought to my life.  It is a day to remember the years and years of sunshine that radiated from my life simply by knowing her.  It's a day to pause a little more than usual and be thankful for having this strong, determined and loving sister in my life.  In full disclosure it also comes with a fair amount of pain and sadness from being distanced both mentally and physically from Kate but that doesn't take away from the immense amount of love that I have for her.  That I will always have for her.  My life has a big ugly black hole that has come from missing my sister.  A hole that can only be filled with her love.  I have hope that someday the hole will be filled again.  

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To my sister on her birthday,

I hope you always remember how much you are loved.  Truly loved.  I hope you remember how cherished you were yesterday.  How cherished you are today.  How cherished you will be tomorrow.  I hope you know whenever and wherever that I will always be here for you.  I am so lucky to know you and to have been molded by your strength and guidance my entire life.  

I love you.  I love you.  I love you.

Buff

eat your fruits and vegetables // drink edition!

I have a l o t on my plate these upcoming 3 weeks so I am making an attempt at small changes in my day-to-day routine.  My hope is I can keep a clear head with a boost of energy and while getting a few additional nutrients in.  I won't be doing any crazy drastic, rather small things like reaching for a few oranges vs a handful of pretzels for a morning snack, making a myself cup of tea versus having a 2nd cup of coffee, blending up a smoothie in the evenings vs having a glass of wine to unwind.  

Two things that have been in heavy rotation during my work day lately have been bottomless cups of green tea and mason jar after mason jar of cayenne pepper + lemon water.  Here are a few reasons why I think you should enjoy these drinks, too!

So far I'm feeling more hydrated than ever and the cayenne pepper has done wonders for curving my morning snack attack.  I also get such a kick out of people wondering WTHeck I have a jar of cayenne pepper at my desk.  Ha!  I originally heard of the cayenne pepper + lemon water drink from my one and only Kris Carr and I go in waves of drinking a few glasses of it daily to forgetting about it for a few months.  I just bought a big ol' bag of organic lemons in an attempt to ride this hydration wave as long as possible!

It should be noted that I realize that I should be citing my sources for where I'm getting these little tidbits from.  Most of them so far have come from WebMD or other various online forums.  Maybe once I have a little more free time during my day I'll link to the sites.  All you research librarians out there please don't hate me!  I'm looking at you, Olson. 

Also, I loved the quote on my tea bag this morning and wanted to share:

Compassion has no limit.  Kindness has no enemy.

I've been extra cranky/tired these past few days so this came as a nice reminder this morning.

Have a great Wednesday, friends!