Monday, February 16, 2015

All the feels.

I've sat down at least 3 times this past week to complete unfinished posts I have in the archives but the second my fingers hit the keys my thoughts instantly poof into thin air.  Whenever I have so many words swirling in my head, I typically go into self inflicted writers block as far as this blog is concerned.  The only way I can think to break through this is to just write.  So enjoy this blog post of scattered thoughts, stories and emotions.  So many emotions. #allthefeels

My heartstrings are being pulled into so many different directions lately.  I'm feeling especially emotional and sensitive to the biggest of big or the smallest of small things.  January was a hard month for me, and I'm thrilled to say that February is not following suit.  Two weekends ago, we spent a long weekend at Snowy with the family and the second we pulled into the parking lot, I immediately felt myself calm down and unwind.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - those nieces and nephews of ours are magical.  We spent the entire weekend laughing, cuddling, chasing, playing, smooching, hugging and laughing some more.  We had a pretty special birthday on Sunday and everyone came together in perfect unity to celebrate.

There are so many changes and potential changes on the horizon.  I'm finding myself caught up on what could be that I'm not focusing on what is.  For reasons I can't explain, I'm feeling especially nostalgic and emotional about every. little. thing. that comes my way.  Hunter and I watched Into the Wild a few weeks ago and you guys.  I'm embarrassed to even type this out but at the end of the movie I was in such hysterics we literally just laid in bed with Hunter holding me as I shook from crying so hard and he whispered positive thoughts into my ear.  Yesterday was my dad's 61st birthday and I wrote a little note on Facebook wishing him a Happy Birthday, then proceeded to just sit there and cry for 15+ minutes about how much I love him and what an amazing man he is.  I really can't explain either of those two examples but they were very real.  Just ask Hunter.  Ha!

This time of year is always a fun one for us.  Three years ago right around this time is when Hunter and I really hit our stride in our relationship and had so many amazing firsts going on.  Our first New Years together, our first Valentine's Day, celebrating our birthdays for the first time together, our first spontaneous weekend get away together etc.  Being up at Snowy last weekend brought back hundreds of memories from when we lived up there 2 winters ago.  I desperately miss seeing those kiddos on a daily basis and I really love watching the interaction of Hunter with his brother and his dad, yet I love our life here in Steamboat and can't even imagine leaving.  It's hard sorting through missing someone and something so fiercely and figuring out how to get it back in your life in a healthy manner.

I've been playing with my diet more and more the past few weeks.  During the holidays I definitely introduced meat into my diet on a regular basis, but I didn't love that I did.  I've been craving different foods…non-vegan foods lately and it was freaking me out.  I never really understood the phrase "Listen to what your body wants" because I always thought that meant I would be eating french fries and nachos and tater tots daily with the excuse of "What?!  It's what my body wanted!"  But the past few weeks I have been craving eggs so this time I'm understanding that on whatever level, my body wants and needs the nutrition in eggs.  Eggs don't necessarily agree with my system, so that's been challenging but I'm still figuring it all out.  I'm toying with the idea of doing my Crazy Sexy Diet cleanse after Hunter's birthday to kind of reset my body.  I've always had such a great experience with that cleanse, I'm excited for the challenge again.  Hunter and I watched { I re-watched but it was the first time Hunter had seen it } the Hungry for a Change documentary { it's also on Netflix! }.  I truly feel like I could watch movie that once a day for an entire month and never tire of the knowledge and wisdom packed into the 90 minutes.  I can relate to various topics in the film that it felt good to have someone spell different questions or concerns out for me.  My favorite part was the ending where it talked about self love and how much our thoughts and actions can affect { positively and negatively! } our health.  Self love and care is something I need to make more of a priority in my life.

Hunt's birthday is in 9 days { I mean….who is counting?! } and I have a surprise trip planned for him that I am so crazy excited for.  I can't wait to pack up and get away with my main squeeze and file away another great birthday trip in the books.  Last year we spent his birthday weekend at Monarch for a relaxing and lovely ski weekend while the year before we had a long { amazing, perfect, adventurous, spontaneous, beautiful } weekend skiing our way through Montana for his birthday.  I really think this trip will live up to the excitement of years past.  It's a surprise for Hunter but I've been giving him Clue Cards the past few weeks letting him in on a few highlights of the trip and will tell him on his birthday where we are going { we leave the day after his birthday, the 26th! }.  Eep!

We spread our Valentine's Day celebration over 2 days this year.  Hunter and I both worked on Valentine's Day but we got an early morning workout and hot springs soak in together before we both headed off to work.  I had a few yummy snacks { stuffed mushrooms + buffalo chicken quesadillas + roasted asparagus and brussels sprouts with an aioli + chips and our favorite salsa } ready for snacking when Hunter got off work at 9:30p with my favorite wine and his favorite beer surrounded by the soft glow of candles scattered throughout the house.  It was a fun intimate way to wind down from the day and enjoy the last bit of Valentine's Day together!  Sunday we both had the day off, so I spent some time in the kitchen first thing in the morning making us a really delicious breakfast { like super delicious.  I don't even feel embarrassed telling you guys how good something I made was.  ha! #notevenclosetohumblebrag #straightupbrag } and then we packed up and headed out skiing for a few hours.  The snow was less than ideal, but we skied for about an hour and a half before landing at our favorite ski bar { T Bar! } for a few beers.  We came home and relaxed a bit before our dinner reservations at Cafe Diva.  Holy Mother of Food Gods was it absolutely incredible.  Everyone in town has talked about how amazing this restaurant was and I was really worried about it not living up to the hype.  But!  It completely surpassed my expectations.  It's certainly a once a year special occasion meal { read: $$$$$$$ }, but I feel so lucky we were able to go.  Hunter got the Elk Tenderloin while I got the Winter Mushroom Fettucine.  We also shared the Peanut Butter and Bacon Sandwiches which made me literally moan in happiness with every single bite. { I'm so sorry for that visual. }  And I don't even care for meat!  But dang.  This thing was incredible.  All paired with a wonderful bottle of wine and we were happy campers.  Scratch that: incredibly full happy campers.

I'm currently watching this, while drinking this while making a grocery list to cook this after my Fierce 4 workout class tonight.  All in all, life is good.  Really good.  It's challenging, scary, confusing and frustrating but at the end of the day it's so good.  I think anything that makes you feel love so fiercely and leaves you confused sometimes, but oh so fulfilled other times is something worth thanking your lucky stars for.  Thanks for keeping up with my rambling thoughts. Even if you didn't keep up with them, I am thankful for this space to sort through my thoughts.

Hakuna Matata, friends. : >

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