My life summed up in 2 Buzzfeed clicks.

19 Horrifying Vegan Problems / #8+#11 NAILED it.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/vegan-problems

The Troubled Life of a Tall Girl / "So do you play basketball...?" F.Y.L.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/video/elyjahwilbur/tall-girl-problems

Both of these popped up on different friend's Facebook pages today, and I barely held it together in the coffee shop I was laughing SO hard.  I wish they had included the frequent reference of "Amazon Woman" { seriously, how can people NOT understand how offensive that is?! } and the awkward hug with people shorter than you as they basically get a free motorboat without even having to ask for it.

Ahhh....life is funny.

Hug a child today.

I am sentimental.

I hold on to moments/things/people.  

   > Probably for too long.

I am sappy.

I am nalstalgic. 

I am emotional.

  > Often to a fault.

Sometimes I try and keep these under wraps.  Keep them to myself and not make a big deal of  it.  But sometimes they come out.  Sometimes I tear up over driving past the first place Hunter took me out to drinks.  Sometimes I rubberneck a little too far and want to rush up and hug old apartments I've lived in, old coffee shops I frequented, favorite restaurants I've dined at with my finest friends.  Then again, this is from the girl who cries without fail at Folgers commercials day after day.  { I can't help it!  THEY ARE SO SWEET. }

Sometimes I see videos pop up on youtube with the line of "Children's Hospital Performs Katy Perry's Roar" and I just know I'm screwed.

We lost my little cousin 4+ years ago to brain cancer.  Diagnosed at the age of 6, passed away days after her 8th birthday.  Exactly 14 months went by from the day we found out about the cancer, to the day we lost her to the cancer.  I could go on for hours about this little girl, but I'll save that for later.  I had the most amazing support system through it all {Karley, remember when you and Robby surprised me at Morgan's benefit?!  I could never forget that moment! } { Also, my aunt and I worked together at the time, and our coworkers really came together to support her and I during that impossible time. }, though I will say, one of the biggest things I struggled with during her diagnosis was sharing her story and hearing "I just couldn't read your update this morning because it was too hard to see."  "I couldn't deal with seeing something so depressing."  Oh really?!!  Because my family chooses to not only click the link but write the update article and chooses to deal with seeing a 6 year old sick with cancer day after day.  It's not a choice.  It's life.  I was angry that for them it was as simple as not clicking a link to have to deal with the pain of reading what was on the other side of that click, where we were had to face head on with this tragedy.

I can see now I was projecting my anger and frustrations at those responses { ok maybe I'm still a little bitter }, and it was our journey to process, not necessarily theirs.  Though I will say...it bugged the shit out of me.

So!  When I saw this video, I knew it wasn't going to be easy to watch.  I knew it was going to be sad and bring up old feelings/memories, but I knew I would be the biggest hypocrite if I chose not to watch it for fear of what I'd see.  So I clicked, watched, and cried { howled, in fact } but I'm so glad I did.  

Pretty amazing, yes?

I haven't talked about Morgan much on my blog, simply because it all happened before I started writing this little ditty.  If you care to read more about our little angel, here is a link with the story and a video I refer to every few months.  I watch the video mostly to see Morgan's smirk but also to keep the memory of that difficult time alive.  I learned and grew so very much during those 14 months, and it was such an important time in my life.  It brought our family closer, and ripped us apart at the same time.  It was the most real and raw experience for me to date.

http://www.wday.com/event/article/id/22401/

Love you, Morgan Dawn!

insta{nt} replay.

I've put the breaks on my instagram posting the past few weeks, but here are a few recents I'd love to share!

^^^ oregon sunrise / subway romance

totes coates instamoment! / fruits of linds labor ^^^

^^^ broncos, beer and my babe / dreamboat sights

a perfect day with mary, friends and thousands of laughs / my mountain man. mine ^^^

^^^ we tolerate fruits and veggies ; ) / two lucky pennies in one day?!  #imma'bouttogetlucky

my forever friends / mother's input on our mouse issue #sendneedlesandyarn ^^^

the sweet season :: broken down v.2

making :: so very many beautiful memories.  corny.  but true.

cooking :: meal after meal with squash!  butternut, spaghetti, acorn.  give me all of the squash. 

drinking :: h 2 the o.  i'm remembering how much water it takes to stay hydrated in these high elevations!

reading :: { very slowwwwly } life after life.  { sorry mary! }

wanting :: to figure out a better way to explain to friends our fall/winter plan.  i usually get really lost, blank and confused stares when i'm finished explaining our ping pong ways.

looking :: forward to my week spent in ca for thanksgiving!  

playing :: with charlie and chloe as much as our crazy schedules allow it.  we kicked aaron and becky out of the house last week to get more one-on-one time with the kids.  there were so many moments throughout the evening that i forgot we were babysitting because we were laughing and playing oh-so-hard.

wasting :: many hours and miles outside walking the dogs.  we're dog-sitting sara's 2 dogs, and it's been fun forcing ourselves to cut out an hour each day to talk them for a walk.

sewing :: still nothing.  but mary just finished one of her best projects yet.  ask her and prepare to be amazed {and entertained!}

wishing :: bww wasn't so damn delicious. 

enjoying :: the nail polish i threw in the cart at dsw a few days ago.  hunter needed new dress shoes, and i needed this blue polish. #winwin

waiting :: to get my to do list done so i can try my hand at pretzel bread bowls!

liking :: how many long distance dear friends i got to see over the weekend.  linds from slc.  missy from fargo.  heather from ft co.  there was a mix of 3 years, 2 years, and 2 weeks since i've seen these ladies, and it was so beautiful watching the friendships pick up exactly where they left off.

wondering :: if the mouse we spotted last night {@#$@#%!!} will resurface or if he/she's gone back to her home in the basement/outside/floorboards.  is it weird that when i picture it as a girl i get less grossed out?

loving :: hold it down by paper bird.  can't stop.  won't stop.

hoping :: to finish a big design project that's been nipping at my heels the past few days.
marveling :: at all the changes in denver.  so very many new buildings are shooting up left and right.

needing :: to dedicate 30 minutes today to finally being 100% unpacked at sara's house.  i could push around boxes for days on end when it was just me, but with 2 people living out of that bedroom it gets cramped.  fast.

smelling :: the fall candles i've scattered around the house!

wearing :: my most favorite grandpa sweater that i got from old navy last year!  

following :: my thoughts back a few weeks to ocean side views and squawking seagulls.  sigh.

noticing :: that it doesn't matter the miles or time that is put between friends, true friendship always prevails.

knowing :: i'll have a good 60 minute coughing fit after running outside.  darn you, 5280!

thinking :: about how damn beautiful this life is.

feeling :: so thankful we got back to co in time to enjoy the last few weeks of fall.  we've spent a few days in steamboat and i really haven't seen a more beautiful fall than i have in steamboat this year.  stunning.

bookmarking :: crafty projects to do with my momma in a few weeks!

opening :: cutie after cutie.  the citrus obsession has hit.

giggling :: with hunter in bed.  i have the biggest crush on that handsome devil.

feeling :: so, so, sososososososo much love.

::via::

To my mom.

This is my most favorite photo of my mom.

I think it encompasses exactly the woman she is.  She is an expert gardner, cook and baker.  A wonderful nurturer and caretaker.  Kind yet firm.  She can take any lunch, holiday or really any day for that matter and make it one of THE best.  She has a gift of always seeing the best in every person and every situation.  She always makes sure you know how loved you are.  She does SO much and expects absolutely nothing in return.  Selfless to the core.

When I was in the 3rd or 4th grade, I rode the bus to school.  There was this girl who rode the bus with us and now looking back on it I can realize her family was quite poor.  J would ride the bus in dirty clothes, dirty hair and sadly, was the easiest target to tease on our 20 minute to and from school.  I remember one day I went home and was telling my mom how J was picking her nose on the bus, people started teasing and J ended up punching one of the girls.  It was pretty big gossip for us back then.  I told my mom the story and was waiting for her to start laughing, or shaking her head at what a bad kid she was and how good my sister and I were, but all she said in her kindest voice was "You know, Beth?  I feel sorry for J.  I don't think she has a very easy life.  Why don't you sit with her on the bus tomorrow?"

This story is exactly my mom.  Going against classic stereotypes and always resisting judgement on others.  ALWAYS wanting to find the good in people when it can be so easy to be petty and laugh along with others.  

My mom has reached out and taken in MANY of our friends who aren't as lucky to have a loving mother/father as my sister and I have.  She practices love and kindness at each opportunity that comes her way.  I am so very proud to call her my mother and friend.  If one day I can be half the woman, wife, mother, sister, daughter that she is, I'll know I have succeeded.

I love you mom!  Happy birthday!

Fallen.

Help!  Help!  I've fallen for fall and I can't get up!

I'm not apologizing for that.

Since returning to CO/WY, seeing snow on a regular basis, dark polishes on my nails, tall boots essentially glued to my legs and have OFFICIALLY booked my flight to see my family for Thanksgiving { !!!!!!! }, I can't get fall/the holidays off my brain.

I'm dreaming up new foods 

::via::

and old standby's

::via::

to be enjoyed on beautifully decorated tables

::via::

::via::

with my latest fall drink in hand

::via::

all while dreaming up this years' Christmas card

::via::

and gift wrap ideas.

::via::

Pull up a hot toddy..er.......I mean chair and join me, won't ya?

"Beth, I have to ask you..."

"...what piqued your interest about pickles so much that you drove 3 hours to take this pickling class?!"

I'll get to that question AND answer here in a hot minute.  But first I am happy to report that we had successful and safe travels and have been back in Colorado for a week now!  Well, Colorado/Wyoming/ColoradoWyoming but you know what I mean. It has been a really beautiful whirlwind of emotions seeing all these people we've been missing for months.  

When I saw on the calendar that Hunter's last day was just a few days before Jaime's 30th birthday, I just knew that we would be back for her celebrations.  Even before I knew what those celebrations were, before I had talked to her husband or sister about plans...I simply knew we would be in attendance.  Sure enough, Ryan had been scheming a surprise party for Jaime that we were able to crash!  We were faced with the decision of simply going to her birthday party, or SURPRISING HER AT HER SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY.  Even though it forced me to fib once or twice { or five+ times } on the weeks and days leading up to the party, it was absolutely worth it when Hunter and I walked out { of the bathroom - hello hilarious } to surprise the birthday girl.  She just stared at us completely speechless with her eyes very quickly filling up with tears.  It was such a fun moment!

Knowing that in the months you've been gone, you've changed in so many big and little ways and knowing your nearest and dearest have done the same was pretty intimidating to me.  Admittedly, I spent far too much time thinking/obsessing over this little detail and formed so many { too many } different situations in my mind.  I should have spent more time going over all the big and little things I love about the people I was about to see and reminding myself how resilient and beautiful friendship is.  Note to self for next time.  ;)

As I was walking into the wine bar where Jaime's party was held { we were having sliiiight car issues so Hunter worked out the problems while I made sure to get to the wine bar before the surprise } I saw Jaime's husband's brother and his wife walking into the restaurant just a few steps ahead of me.  Something about that moment calmed all of my ohmygoshi'mgoingtoseeallmyfriendsihaven'tseenin7monthswhatiftheydon'tlikemeanymore because seeing Luke and Krista walk in reminded me that these are my people.  It reminded me that behind those doors were a very large man's handful of people that I have hundreds if not thousands of memories with.  People that I love and who I know love me.  And sure enough, it was a beautiful evening.  It was so fun seeing all the people who came together to celebrate Jaime.  I loved seeing all our old friends, and meeting new { Hi, Sara!!! : } and picking up at the exact moment that we had left off.

After 7 months of pure longing to see your nearest and dearest, if you have even a seconds worth of opportunity to see those you haven't seen in anywhere from 2 weeks, to 7 months, to 12 months you just say yes.  You say yes to the plans and figure out the details later.  Even if those details require 13 hour driving days, setting the alarm for 5:30am several mornings in a row, driving 45mph alone through a twisty turny icy cannon while watching someone get pulled from the steep cliff and gripping your steering wheel as tightly as you possibly can.  We've been bouncing around quite a bit since getting back.  Denver, then Laramie the very next morning { Those Godkids of ours you guys.  Those cuddly, smiley and beautiful kids?  They own our hearts through and through. }, Steamboat the day after that then a quick drive through Ft Collins before landing in Denver for a few days.  On Tuesday, Hunter headed up to Snowy to get to work, and I drove from Steamboat to Ft Collins for a few hours, then to Denver.  My very sweet and dear friend Lesli, along with her husband Dustin opened up a beautiful spice and oil/vinegar shop, Crescendo!  They are constantly posting cooking classes that they offer on their Facebook page, and it was so painful to be in WA and watch all these fun classes come and go while being so far away.  When I saw they had a class October 15th, it was another moment of "I know I'm going.  I don't quite know how or where we'll be....but I'm going to this sumbitchin' pickling class come hell or high water!"  And sure enough, I made it { after that clenched steering wheel, icy twisty turny drive I referred to } and it was beyond enjoyable!  I worked with Lesli at my last job.  We both got out of corporate hell { no offense corporate job people reading this! } and really enjoyed sharing a few hugs, laughs and venting about how different that life was compared to what we are living right now.  She cracked me up when she looked at me mid class and says "Beth, I have to ask you.  What piqued your interest about pickles so much that you drove for 3 hours to take a pickling class?!"  I was a little embarrassed and gave her an answer of loving to cook, wanting to live a more self sustainable life blah blah.  Though that answer was part of the truth, the whole truth is what I spoke about above.  After missing these people, and these memories for so many months that when you have that opportunity to make a memory, you jump on it.  I am so proud of the leap Lesli and Dustin took and want to support them in any and every capacity I can!

So all in all, it's been really great being back.  It's been filled with little quirks like listening to the news and actually knowing the areas of the state and interstates they are talking about.  Laughing over 4+ old inside jokes brought up by old friends that you had completely forgotten about.  Pulling out your ID and not hearing "Oh gosh, ok Colorado, ColoradoColoradooooo.  Where is your DOB, whereeeisssyourrrrDOBBBB OH OK THERE IT IS." meanwhile all the ice has melted in your adult beverage and you are kind of wanting to throw it in the sweet WA bartender's face for not being quick on the uptake of finding a CO birthdate.  It's been fun remembering how one simple street in Denver can hold endless memories.  It's been challenging struggling to  navigate through a city you once knew like the back of your hand, but it's fulfilling when you instincts take you down the streets to the very place you are looking to get to.  It's a daily goal of mine to keep Bremerton as alive and close to the surface as I can.  I want it to remain a part of me and not let it fade into a distant memory.  

Cheers, friends!  And TGIF!!

seven hundred and thirty.

Last year I played hooky from work. We spent the day going for a run, enjoyed a long lunch and chatter over beers into the late hours. This year we packed up our lives of 7mo, moved out of our first house together and are driving as far as we can make it for a few weeks vacation before starting the next chapter of our lives. I'd say we are doing this relationship thing pretty well. 

Thanks for kissing me outside that cab two years ago today, babe. And thanks for kissing me every chance we get since. 

Happy two years together. I love you, Goose!

T minus 28 hours.

We've got a day and some change left in Bremerton. This move has tested me more emotionally than it has mentally and physically. { I sweat typing out physically remembering my last last last move from my old apt to Sara's and thinking of those 62 steps one way to get downstairs. Oy.  Talk about being tested physically. I remember Hunter and I contemplating far too seriously how it would work to throw my bed out the window vs hauling it down the stairs. Anyway. } I'm going tp pull a classic Beth and make a list of 5 favorites/things I'm thankful for. These lists don't just get me through my moves { I'm typing this from our balcony on my phone and don't have energy to hyperlink to my past lists throughout my moving years. Just trust they exist. } but I love looking back on them and smiling at what I was most grateful for during that time. 

1. The sun. Silly as it sounds, it's been hiding from us for a week or two but since Sunday it hasn't gone away. I remember Julia commenting at the Sunday market saying "Where did this sunshine come from?" And then winking on the sly: "It must have came out for you, Beth." It's given me a reason to sit on our balcony for a few final times and soak in the vitamin D like I did so, so many times this summer. It also lights up the sky and the water, trees, grass, boats in a way the cool overcast days can't. Beautiful. 

2. New friends.  Kay threw me a very incredibly wonderful going away party this past weekend. It was so beautiful to watch relationships deepen right before my eyes. Watching friends who maybe only knew each other 2 days a week transition to endless laughs and tears into the wee hours of the nights, and then again the very next day.  I love that feeling of just KNOWING you are creating memories you'll remember and talk about years and years down the road. 

3. Old friends. The promise of craft nights, book clubs. Pho dates and happy hours. The thrill of knowing you'll see the people who have stood by your side for years and years in a few short weeks is exhilarating and is what is keeping my emotions and tears at bay while moving from this beautiful wonderland. 

4. Hunter. Duh. My rock and go-to for each an every insane emotion that passes through my mind in trying times like these. He listens. He hugs. He talks it out. And he helps. All without judgement. 

5. Bremerton. A town we once quickly labeled as rundown and slightly ghetto has proven itself in its endless beauty and love. From the people, the views, landscape to water. I will leave a piece of my heart here in a few 28 hours. But the glory is I know it will be well tended to while I'm away. 

tgif

Let's make it a bitchin' one, yes?!

Kale me Maybe!

I think we've gathered over the months and years that I love me a good cooking show, cooking YouTube channel, and those who have a deep knowledge and appreciation for whole and pure foods etc etc.  I've been reading up more and more on not just vegan cooking, but also reading into the raw vegan lifestyle.  It isn't something I necessarily think I want/could do daily, but I would say it definitely peaks my interest.  Here are a few vegan/raw vegans that I can't get enough of lately.  And by can't get enough of, I mean watch their videos in bed for a few { 60+ } minutes.

Fully Raw Kristina.  Much love to this teeny tiny woman who after posting on any of her social media sites gets a lashing out of criticism.  She handles each of them so gracefully and poses questions to the critics which support her lifestyle and really make you think!  I love watching her recipe videos and get so much inspiration for our daily juices/smoothies.  This girl is who she is, and doesn't ever apologize for it.  YouTube//Facebook//Instagram

Banana Girl!  What I love most about her isn't just her excitement over eating 10-30 bananas a day { whaaa?! }, but I love just listening to her talk and her enthusiasm for spreading her knowledge and busting all the myths associated with a raw diet.  I also really love that she includes squat challenges in her videos knowing we are all sitting down and probably slouching over computers all day!

YouTube//Facebook//Instagram

Megan Elizabeth Really, really great and easy raw recipes here, too.  Something about watching these people make their raw meals makes it far less intimidating to me!

YouTube//Facebook 

The Fitchen  Sometimes Raw, Mostly Vegan, Always Delicious.  I really freaking adore their tagline and would love to someday fit that bill.  Lovely photos and easy to follow recipes.  Facebook//Website//Instagram

Sidesaddle Kitchen I most def saved the best for last on this one.  I found Sidesaddle Kitchen's Raw.  Vegan.  Not Gross. segment on Tastemade through a YouTube ad before one of Fully Raw Kristina's videos.  I love this girl, you guys.  Love her.  Her humor, her attitude, her outfits, her love for vegetables, her love/hate for eating raw, her humor and her humor.  I sent her to my Vegan BFF Lindsey, and she writes back "She reminds me so much of you!  Especially her sense of humor."  Which brought her like 47 notches up on my Vegan BFF list.  Who am I kidding, Linds is already #1 on my Vegan BFF list.  Okay we are talking about that fake list for too long.  CLICK THROUGH TO SIDESADDLE KITCHEN.

YouTube//Facebook//Website//Instagram

I've done a few 100% raw days, I've done a few eat-raw-until-dinner days and I really love it.  I feel so light, energized and quick on my feet.  Something Sidesaddle Kitchen talks about is how she isn't trying to convert any of her followers into being a raw vegan, rather think about incorporating more and more raw plant based meals into our days.  Something else I always get from these videos/posts is HYDRATION.  I always go and drink like 3L of water after watching these beautiful people.  *Thanks for putting up with my love story for vegan/raw eating even if it isn't what you believe in or chose to practice!

*KEEP ANY AND ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF, PHILIP WANG.  TOFU.

Everyone is doing it.

Here is yet another fall to do list in this massive blog world for you to read!  

You are welcome.

Host a cozy Broncos Sunday + chili + hot toddy + blanket party!

Paint my nails all sorts of dark fall'like colors, and paint them often.

Expand my bread baking skills beyond my basic and simple go-to { and delic! } recipe

Cut bangs....................................maybe.

Make pho!!!

Potato-stamp a fall table runner.  #krafts

Happy Hour with all my old co-workers and friends. { !!!!! }

Get my eyes tested.  For realz.

Pick out a cute pair of glasses!  { As far as I'm concerned, the testing is strictly show as I just k-n-o-w I'll need glasses! }

Help host/coordinate our annual fall par-tay, Fakesgiving! { !!!!!!!! }

Bake something filled with fall spices, cinnamon, pumpkin deliciousness.  { I don't really have a sweet tooth at all, but would like to try my hand at baking to switch things up! }

Crunch as many leaves as humanly possible.