Happy Heart :: Happy Day!

Today is a day for kindness.  For extra smiles.  For memories that will forever keep me warm.  Today is a day for reaching out to each and everyone whom you love the mostest and reminding them that you love them the mostest.  Today is a day for simple pleasures.  A day for happiness.  It is a day for family.  For love.  For celebrating my sister.

Happiest of birthdays to you, Katie!  I love you.  I love you.  I love you.

Hug a child today.

I am sentimental.

I hold on to moments/things/people.  

   > Probably for too long.

I am sappy.

I am nalstalgic. 

I am emotional.

  > Often to a fault.

Sometimes I try and keep these under wraps.  Keep them to myself and not make a big deal of  it.  But sometimes they come out.  Sometimes I tear up over driving past the first place Hunter took me out to drinks.  Sometimes I rubberneck a little too far and want to rush up and hug old apartments I've lived in, old coffee shops I frequented, favorite restaurants I've dined at with my finest friends.  Then again, this is from the girl who cries without fail at Folgers commercials day after day.  { I can't help it!  THEY ARE SO SWEET. }

Sometimes I see videos pop up on youtube with the line of "Children's Hospital Performs Katy Perry's Roar" and I just know I'm screwed.

We lost my little cousin 4+ years ago to brain cancer.  Diagnosed at the age of 6, passed away days after her 8th birthday.  Exactly 14 months went by from the day we found out about the cancer, to the day we lost her to the cancer.  I could go on for hours about this little girl, but I'll save that for later.  I had the most amazing support system through it all {Karley, remember when you and Robby surprised me at Morgan's benefit?!  I could never forget that moment! } { Also, my aunt and I worked together at the time, and our coworkers really came together to support her and I during that impossible time. }, though I will say, one of the biggest things I struggled with during her diagnosis was sharing her story and hearing "I just couldn't read your update this morning because it was too hard to see."  "I couldn't deal with seeing something so depressing."  Oh really?!!  Because my family chooses to not only click the link but write the update article and chooses to deal with seeing a 6 year old sick with cancer day after day.  It's not a choice.  It's life.  I was angry that for them it was as simple as not clicking a link to have to deal with the pain of reading what was on the other side of that click, where we were had to face head on with this tragedy.

I can see now I was projecting my anger and frustrations at those responses { ok maybe I'm still a little bitter }, and it was our journey to process, not necessarily theirs.  Though I will say...it bugged the shit out of me.

So!  When I saw this video, I knew it wasn't going to be easy to watch.  I knew it was going to be sad and bring up old feelings/memories, but I knew I would be the biggest hypocrite if I chose not to watch it for fear of what I'd see.  So I clicked, watched, and cried { howled, in fact } but I'm so glad I did.  

Pretty amazing, yes?

I haven't talked about Morgan much on my blog, simply because it all happened before I started writing this little ditty.  If you care to read more about our little angel, here is a link with the story and a video I refer to every few months.  I watch the video mostly to see Morgan's smirk but also to keep the memory of that difficult time alive.  I learned and grew so very much during those 14 months, and it was such an important time in my life.  It brought our family closer, and ripped us apart at the same time.  It was the most real and raw experience for me to date.

http://www.wday.com/event/article/id/22401/

Love you, Morgan Dawn!

To my mom.

This is my most favorite photo of my mom.

I think it encompasses exactly the woman she is.  She is an expert gardner, cook and baker.  A wonderful nurturer and caretaker.  Kind yet firm.  She can take any lunch, holiday or really any day for that matter and make it one of THE best.  She has a gift of always seeing the best in every person and every situation.  She always makes sure you know how loved you are.  She does SO much and expects absolutely nothing in return.  Selfless to the core.

When I was in the 3rd or 4th grade, I rode the bus to school.  There was this girl who rode the bus with us and now looking back on it I can realize her family was quite poor.  J would ride the bus in dirty clothes, dirty hair and sadly, was the easiest target to tease on our 20 minute to and from school.  I remember one day I went home and was telling my mom how J was picking her nose on the bus, people started teasing and J ended up punching one of the girls.  It was pretty big gossip for us back then.  I told my mom the story and was waiting for her to start laughing, or shaking her head at what a bad kid she was and how good my sister and I were, but all she said in her kindest voice was "You know, Beth?  I feel sorry for J.  I don't think she has a very easy life.  Why don't you sit with her on the bus tomorrow?"

This story is exactly my mom.  Going against classic stereotypes and always resisting judgement on others.  ALWAYS wanting to find the good in people when it can be so easy to be petty and laugh along with others.  

My mom has reached out and taken in MANY of our friends who aren't as lucky to have a loving mother/father as my sister and I have.  She practices love and kindness at each opportunity that comes her way.  I am so very proud to call her my mother and friend.  If one day I can be half the woman, wife, mother, sister, daughter that she is, I'll know I have succeeded.

I love you mom!  Happy birthday!

ND or bust!

Tomorrow at this time, Hunter and I will { hopefully } be about 2 hours into our final summer road trip.  We are driving back to my hometown in North Dakota for a long weekend visit!!  My cousin Rebeca recently had the sweetest little baby girl, Maya, and I really only plan on putting that baby down to eat borscht soup and paprikash.  { My grandmother's paprikash which really isn't worthy of whatever Wikipedia has to say, so I'm letting it go unlinked. }  There are a small handful of aunts/uncles/cousins out there he's yet to meet and this trip will take care of most of them!  We've got plenty of books on tape, fruits and veggies packed for our snack attacks, and of COURSE our backpacking gear as we plan to do a quick backpack in Montana on our drive back!  Oh, andplusalso?  We'll stop and see Amie on our way out, and hopefully get to see her and her fiance{!!!!} Andrew on our drive back.  It's going to be a goooo-o-o-o-d week.

Here are a few snaps from my last trip back to ND for Becky's wedding.  I can't wait to see these faces!

birthday week :: balloons, friends and parks oh my!

I truly got the biggest warm fuzzy putting this post together.  The weeks leading up to my 26th birthday I had this nagging thought that wouldn't go away.  This dream of having a huge, big beautiful and colorful birthday party in the park.  When I looked on the calendar and realized my actual birthday would be on a Saturday, it pretty much sealed the deal for me.  The bestest of all best parts?  My parents, uncle Joel and cousin Rebeca were passing through town from ND to CA so all of them + my uncle Craig { who lives in Longmont, CO } were able to join!

I still to this day remember the smallest gestures that made this day a success.  Jaime and Ryan picking up the balloons that I was obsessing over having { I LOVE BALLOONS } on their way to the party.  Mary making cake pops and fruit skewers { which required she cut up cantaloupe which may or may not be her least favorite fruit }.  My girlfriend Amy coming an hour+ early to help with the set up.  Everyone who showed up who helped drink the keg of beer.  My dad going out and buying more beer when we ran out of keg beer.  { YES.  That actually happened. }  My gays + gals bringing their own tent, champagne, blankets and a piñata.  My aunt hosting Mary + my uncles + parents and I for dinner after the party.  The entire day really was a dream.

And as if Mary hadn't done enough for the day, she filled + edited this video for me.  She's such a show-off BFF.  Wouldn't you agree?

birthday week :: twentyone

There won't be a whole lot of detail going into this particular post, because wellllll - who wants to hear about someone else's { drunken } 21st birthday?!  We'll just say that I had a really aucking fwesome day with my nearest and dearest, and may or may not have been kicked out of the bar at like 10pm.  Don't worry.  I've learned to hold my alcohol since then.

All you need is love.

I often find myself getting far too overwhelmed when it comes to weekend recaps/trip recaps/visitor recaps.  I want to capture every single detail, without boring you all with every single detail.  Maybe that is why I have a good half dozen unfinished draft blog posts written up about our travels this winter, here in Washington and other various activities.  Where is the line of over-sharing yet savoring all the sweet moments and still saving a few for myself?

First world problems, I know.

This much I can say for sure; in the past week I have felt two different times this zoned-out-blissful-love-haze.  Sounds weird, right?  But kinda amazing?  It was first a week ago today right after Ryan and Lindsey left, then again last night after my parents left.  All I could do was just gaze out the window with a dopey smile on my face reminiscing the big moments of laughter mixed in with the small gestures of love that I took away from the visitors we've had in June.  I can tell you one thing for sure, if love paid the bills I'd be wealthier than Bill Gates and Mr. Facebook Man combined.  My warm fuzzy tank hath runnuth over.

That's how that phrase goes, right?

Those parents of mine, man.  How did I get so lucky?  Their love and compassion flows so honestly and effortlessly.  It's been such an out of body experience growing older and seeing so much of my little quirks, accomplishments and also my shortcomings in these two.  Hearing of little things they do or don't do day to day and exclaiming MOM I DO THAT, TOO!! Or after switching beers with my dad because he liked mine better { and I truly didn't care } then hearing him say "Beth, I feel so guilty I just took your beer!", when just a short 45 minutes earlier I was feeling so much guilt over where we were sitting in the ferry and missing the Seattle skyline show itself rather than walking to the front of the boat a few minutes before we docked.  It was physically painful to put them in a cab and send them off to the airport yesterday afternoon, but the memories we made aren't something to be forgotten.

My dad has the quality photos on his camera that he will email me this week.  Knowing that more photos and stories are forthcoming, enjoy a few iPhone shots now!

happy day!

March 5th.
I love this day, and have ever since I was a little girl.  Truly, as long as I have been on this earth, I have the most fond memories of March 5th.  Memories of turning the corner from winter to spring.  Memories of freshly picked flowers.  Memories of birthday parties with balloons filling up the room.  Memories of light blue, Aquamarine stones.  Memories of skipping class for sister manis/pedis.  Memories of long road trip, with the radio full blast, and singing even louder.  Memories of margarita nights.  Memories with my sister.

Happy birthday, Kate.  Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whomever you are spending it with I hope you remember how many people love you.  How many people love you today, and every other 364 days of the year.

California Trip - Insta Style! { Part 2 }

The morning, noon and night of crocheting, football and tending to my hurt knee.  { tending to it either by icing it, or trying other pain reliving methods.  ;}

::morning::

::noon::

::night::

 Celebrating the ball drop at 9pm so we could get to bed to get up bright and early for...

The Rose Bowl Parade!



Enjoying lunch with a view. 

And also enjoying our really, really awesome day!

Freshly picked lemon from my parent's backyard!  Immediately enjoyed alongside some ice and crisp cold water.

Sad, yet oh so brightly dressed heading back to the airport for tearful and dreaded goodbye.

California Trip - Insta Style! { Part 1 }

My uncle picked me up at 5am square on the dot for our long { long, long, long } road trip south to CA for the holidays.  We've had ourselves many a road trip to North Dakota together, so we really had our routine down.  My dad is sending me the photos he snapped on his camera of the 2 week vacation soon, but until then, enjoy my Christmas trip along with me via Instagram photos!

Beaaaautiful New Mexico.

Beaaaaautiful'er Arizona

Mesa Arizona's city lights that saved my sanity.

Great Uncle John declared 2pm Happy Hour.  Chips/salsa and scotch not pictured. { I love him. }

Sunday morning orange picking before our final leg to California!

My mom's out of this world cuteness leaving Secret Santa gifts for me in the car for our final hour drive from my uncle's house to our house!

Some people dream of a White Christmas.  We were dreaming of a rainy Christmas!

Secret Santa cuteness continues.

Wishing my naughty AND nice friends a very Merry Christmas!

If the wine charm fits...

Old Town San Diego sipping!

{ Knockoff } Sunglasses twinsies!

2013 Mantra

We coud NOT buy these as fast as I was eating them.  #tangerineobsessed

My favorite thing we did the entire trip; pasta making!  It was an all hands on deck kinda deal.

Wine tasting.  What else?!

Bootiful California!

First day I felt like I was back to my old ways!  Green Monster, outside core workout + pho with my momma.  Loved this day.

Was feeling needy and sad about only seeing Hunter 8 days in all of December, so I splashed his face all over my feed to make myself feel better.

pause.

Pardon my absence / random blog posts this week as I just landed to spend the holiday with my family in CA this morning!  If you do see me around these parts, it will likely be { bragging } posts of wine, wineries, food, wine, family and sun.  Like this. 

Now off to some wineries.  Hi, Phil.

TGIM!

Happy Monday to all you fancy faces.  My morning has already been stuffed full of puppy kisses, delicious green smoothies, friendly waving construction workers, cheersing my favorites with our coffee/tea mugs in the kitchen and a tan boss who just returned from Mexico.  There was no hiding I had a crap day last Monday { sorry, Jaime! } so I took all the necessary steps I could think of to avoid having another case of the Monday's, and had a mighty fine pep talk with myself this morning { not totally unlike this }.

What did all you peeps do this weekend?  My grandma from North Dakota was in town, so we did plenty of card playing, cooking, wine drinking and a little bit of farmers markets, walks and crossword puzzles in between.

It was beautiful.  Cheers to a fun, memorable and fast week!!!