It's ok to be happy with a calm life.

The Chic Type Blog gives me my daily dose of graphic design eye candy which can be a good break in all my vegan foodie + lifestyle blogs.  { I KNOW - who would have thought I would need a break from vegan food blogs?  Surely not me. }  Every Friday, they post Friday's Typographic Treats which usually gives me fun layout/type inspiration but today two of them { design + message } hit me square between the eyes.

Loooo-o-o-o-o-ove this one.  Life has undoubtedly taken a more calm turn the past few months.  I've written my fair share of blog posts { that are still hanging out in my drafts section } about adjustment, change, evolving blah blah blah.  Every time I go back to edit them for posting, they come off sooo whinny to me.  If I get annoyed reading them, surely you guys would too!  The gist of them all is basically Holy shit.  Life is so different today than it was a year ago.  Summers before were spent hopping from one friends' party to another { and I don't mean that in a bragging "OMG I have so many friends" way.  I mean that in a "OMG my friends really like to drink and eat" way. }  They were spent enjoying an early morning date in the park with friends, and late night laughing/venting sessions on various patios with family + friends.  I'll admit that it hasn't been the easiest having my closest friend in Bremerton be Kristy, who is the 80+ year old woman who lives on the 4th floor and lends Hunter and I her Hiking in Washington books { so cute, right? }.  Though the flip side of that is the ease, adventure and spontaneity that comes from getting to play house with Hunter.  I find so { maybe too much? } much happiness and contentment in cooking dinner 6x a week, and doing laundry on the regular.  Lame as it may sound, I do think it's what society calls Domestic Bliss.  Suffice to say I loved my crazy, busy loud life fully packed with too many happy hours and dinners, but I adore my calm, 9pm bedtime, fulfilling life, too.

Sighhhhh-h-h-h.  Thank you to whomever managed to take the words straight out of my thoughts and onto a gorge designed print.  I really feel like I've turned a corner the past few weeks.  When I think about how to explain this change I've felt, the only phrase/words that come to mind are I've finally woken up.  Sounds weird, I know.  I finally feel like I've woken up to the never ending beauty surrounding us here in Bremerton, to being endlessly spoiled with fresh, local and organic produce.  Woken up to having the means to go on the countless incredible adventures we've been partaking in week after week.  I truly have appreciated everything we've been doing out here, but it's finally registering with me the beauty of it all.  Something Danielle wrote in one of her recent blog posts really resonated with me.  She spoke of only being in this season of your life once.  I've heard that phrase before, but this time it really opened my eyes to how rare this opportunity is that Hunter and I have right now.  The opportunity to be silly, adventurous and crazy in love together.  Though those things are something that I hope stays with us our entire life,  it all seems so much more emphasized here.

Soooo-o-o-o {ok, why is that a thing in this blog post? } my attempt to share these designs/quotes with a few cheeky one liners on how relatable they are to me right now totally backfired.  I hope you enjoyed the long winded version instead. ; )

Sometimes.

Sometimes there are days where you feel especially down and out. Upset over lack of jobs. Lack of friends within arms reach. Little nuggets growing up miles and miles away, family gatherings being missed. Friends going through excruciatingly painful times, and feeling a phone call or text couldn't convey the love you know you could show face to face.

But.

Sometimes there are days where you get in a really encouraging run. Take a walk in the rain with your biggest crush, stumble across a "Funky Junk" type store and a simple walk through brings back floods of memories of mom + sister from a few years back. Sometimes you find not one but two heads up pennies { !!!!!! } out and about, your green juice shows you much needed love { awww }, you get in a home cooked meal and eat it while watching the rain fall with that same biggest crush { sigh }. Sometimes you get to try out a new yoga studio, and celebrate that successful yoga class with a candlelit hot bath and drift off to sleep with the reflection of the stars, the moon and harbor lights in the ocean directly outside your bedroom window and you realize that life is really, really fucking amazing.

Good News/Bad News/Better News

Good News: Now the 3 very large bruises I have on my legs from cross country skiing { I warned you I spent a lot of that day fallen down in the snow } won't feel alone seeing as now I have a very inconveniently located, painful and nasty looking bruise on the bed of my ring finger along with a terribly sore index and middle finger.

Bad News: When I was putting some things away in Hunter's brewery last night, I grabbed the wrong part of the garage door to slam closed and ended up squeezing my first 3 fingers IN the garage door.  It hurt so badly, I wanted to pee my pants, throw up and scream at the exact same time.  I in fact did do one of those, but I'll let you guess which one.

Better News:  I can ice my right knee and fingers at the exact same time.  BOOM.

Hold on for one more day...

I'm still declaring this blog paused from last week's initial pause.  Why?  Because I can.  And because I need to better spend my time unpacking from California, repacking for Snowy this weekend, doing tons of laundry, wrapping up to-do lists to ensure Saturday goes off as visually appealing as possible, helping Hunter pack up the last of his house, wrapping up my final weeks at work all while maintaining some level of sanity.

Until then, enjoy the song that my life coach aka Amie sent me to remind me to just take a deep breath and embrace the change.

If I could, I would:

stay in pajamas all day long, drinking hot tea cuddled in a blanket and work until sundown on freelance.

call my sister and beg her to whip up a batch of her minestrone soup for me.  My #1 all time favorite { I'm talking person and soup }.

clean the house from top to bottom, so it smelled of Windex, and all the yummy candles I'd light during the process.

soak in a hot tub for hours on end.

read 1 of the 9 books I have on my nightstand.

watch a Chopped marathon.

have this cooking away in the oven.

give myself a mani/pedi.

sit in an office chair for 8 hours straight sending emails.



Wait a second.
One of these things is not like the other....

Full dance card.

Warning: Whinny bitchy blogger behind the keyboard.  Abandon current internet window and click on the always happy-go-lucky blogger with posts of sunshine and rainbows shooting out of their asses if not up for the task of seeing a not so happy-and-go-lucky Beth.  

Lately it feels like my days has been consumed by events.  Wake up, walk the dog, go to work, go to gym, cook dinner, work on freelance, sleep, repeat.  I feel like I'm constantly asking myself the question of "What am I supposed to be doing now?"  Working?  Working out?  Helping out friends?  Unpacking?  Cleaning?  Catching up on phone calls with friends that have fallen to the wayside?  Walking the dog?  I've become utterly consumed with what I should be doing, and forgetting the things I want to be doing.  Examples: I want to cozy up with a hot cup of tea and watch a chick flick while working on crocheting my blanket, but the should part of my brain takes over, and I spend another 3 hours behind the computer at home after 8 hours behind the computer during the day.  I want to take a walk and explore my neighborhood, but will that be enough exercise?  So, I do what I feel like I should do and go to the gym instead.  I should focus on not spending carelessly so by virtue of that I bypass the cute teeny restaurants surrounding my house that I've been wanting to try for weeks now and spend the night eating at home.

Don't get me wrong.  I love going to the gym.  I love the ability to get creative and work on freelance.  And if you don't know by now that I love cooking, you had best just close this window right meow.  But I don't love feeling like I need to do that all the time.

Also, do you know that there has been 2 weekends since the end of July that I haven't packed up, set off and for at least one day of the weekend?  I love weekend trips, I really, really, reallyreallyreally do.  But what happened to the slow Saturday mornings of coffee and Food Network?  Or going to bed super early to enjoy a good glass of wine and book?  Trying to make plans like a simple Saturday morning brunch with friends has lately gotten my response of "Sorry, I'm out of town this weekend..."  This past Saturday morning, I had a mild anxiety attack while folding my laundry thinking that I didn't have time to fold clothes and I needed to get to work on my computer.  Follow that up with such a packed event evening on Saturday night, that I ended up breaking down, multiple times, to really anyone who would listen - and in this case it was poor Hunter.

What I'm trying to say I miss the simpler days, and I miss the slower days, and if I don't make a change to achieve a slower lifestyle I will continue down this path of breaking down and sobbing while brushing my teeth at Hunter's house.  Do you know how embarrassing that is to look back on the next day?  No bueno peeps.  No.  Bueno.

I was venting bitching to Amie about it all this weekend and her exact advice?

Sounds like you need to cancel all plans for the week and sit home with a blanket, wine and watch reality tv all week.  No lie.

She told me that Sunday morning, and let me show you what my Sunday night looked like:

And allow me to show you what my Monday night looked like:

Not pictured: Blanket, wine + reality tv.

And I can't wait to show you what my night tonight will look like.

I am walking the oh so very thin line of treating life as a business meeting and forgetting how to blow off steam by just having some good old fashioned f{u}cking fun.  My idol Kris Carr posted this on Facebook last week and it couldn't have come at a better time.

Kris Carr

September 14  Amidst the KrisCarr.com website renovation extravaganza (Monday is the BIG reveal!), I've missed out on some precious zzzzs. No more! This weekend, I'm committed to giving my mind and body the eight hours of rest and repair it deserves. 

How will YOU practice some self-care smarts this weekend? xo

Simply put; I'm not practicing self-care smarts and I most certainly am not focusing on rest and repair.  Period, the end, discussion closed.  { I prooooooobably could have just posted that and that alone while skipping the rant, but it felt WAY better getting it all off my chest. }

More posts of sunshine and rainbows tomorrow...I promise.  Until then, I'll be buried under a blanket, with a good book, or good shit reality tv.  I haven't decided which quite yet...

Crickets.

I have had this window open with a blank post since oh...about 7:30am.  Well, in all honesty since about 6pm last night when I wanted to take a picture from my laptop of my new room, but as quickly as I realized how horrifically tired and greasy I looked, I walked away from the computer and ate homemade salsa by the spoonful.

True story.

Srsly guys - this stuff is amaze.  The Farmers Markets around here are in full peak and I couldn't be more thrilled.

Anyway, I'm here to say ohheyhai, though it probably won't be worth reading.  I'm bouncing back and forth from posting about my amaze girls birthday party sleepover this past weekend, Mary's birthday party, our Montana trip, and posting photos from when my parents were here, and my cousin and her husband were here before that!

Yes.  A month ago.

Hi my name is Beth, and I'm a very delayed blogger.

But for now, you get photos of salsa, vegan taco salads, cute boys in Ikea bed-frames, Green Monsters, new roomies and their { smiling } dogs, a birthday gift from Amie that when I read the first 2 words of just one of them I cried for 15 minutes straight and last but not least appreciating the fact Hunter knows how much I love green how much I am OCD I am about my color coordinating when he buys me fun things like running shoes and Patagonia zip up's.  Please accept this versus a post of strictly chirping from the crickets that are walking around in my head.  Moving is seriously tiring stuff, yo.

It's getting to that point.

You know, that point, and that point where I am so overwhelmed with packing, moving, cleaning that I can't see past cardboard boxes, tape and watching the clock roll past 1am.  So I'm forcing myself to push past all that junk, and post my favorite 5's of the week.  Of the day?  Whatever - favorite 5's going on right now.

1. My coworker Boomer sending me a photo he snapped of me and his beautiful granddaughter.  The picture was taken over a year ago, but he came across it and wanted to share.  It brought such a smile to my face not just because of how sweet she is, but of how proud of a grandpa Boom is to his granddaughter!

2. Chinese food takeout.  Because even when you promise yourself you won't fall into a Fast Food Funk and so badly want to use up everything in your pantry before a big move, you just can't.  And when you can't, Chinese food can.  'nuff said.

3. This guy's texts:

4. The overcast and gloomy weather today!  Much appreciated after way way too many days in the 90's.

5. Getting to spend Saturday night away from cardboard and with my favorite ladies + old school sleepover!  I'm beyond excited to lounge in my pj's, paint some nails, play some games, but mostly laugh, laugh and laugh.

Ok that took me a while to come up with 5, but I managed, and am thankful for that.  What are YOUR favorite 5's this week?  

Bad Beth.

I know, I know - the posting has been very few and far between the last week - I accept full responsibility.  After our 4 day vacation, a full night of packing + dinner with our dear friends Jaime and Ryan, then a bitchin' birthday party for my Mary, I've hardly found time to even wash my hair!  { Let's be honest, I rarely find time to wash my hair even when my days aren't jam packed. }  I need to get through this week, then the weekend and HOPEFULLY things will then calm down.  I have a full night of designing, cleaning and packing ahead of me tonight, then a BBQ/branding meeting Friday night, a morning of packing and moving Saturday, followed by a girl's night hotel sleepover Saturday night, then ANOTHER day of moving on Sunday.  Let's hope that I'll have a bed { not twin size air mattress } and a freshly washed head of hair come Monday.

I'm excited to share more deets and photos from our Montana trip and also post some pictures from Mary's birthday party last night!  Meanwhile, enjoy the dance party pictures from Mary and my dance off yesterday morning.





She's my favorite.

Ahhh freakout!...potentially.

Do you ever feel like you are potentially on the verge of a freak-out?  Like, oh for example, thinking about how in the upcoming days, all of your possessions will be spread among 3 different residences.  You'll be living out of boxes for potentially the next month+.  How you have lists of freelance work, party planning, packing, cleaning, work events all while trying to balance friends, family and boyfriend?  While maintaining a gym schedule in addition to eating healthy and not slipping into the Fast Food Funk?  And when you actually take the time to write it all out, you start to feel your inner Jessie Spano tick?

Yeah.  Me too.

Here are a few methods of therapy I have found to kick that darn Jessie to the curb.

Something about sitting down to paint my nails is incredibly soothing to me.  Yeah, I have had 3 different colors on my nails than less than a week, but when I was feeling myself surrounded by packing, packing and more cleaning and an anxiety attack nearing - I'd just sit down with a glass of ice water and a bottle of polish, and sip and paint away.  Sounds silly, but works for me.

Forcing in some sweat time, even when you don't think you have the time or energy for it.  If it's a stroll around the block, run to the park, tennis date, or an hour gym session - my mind always seems more clear and realistic than it did before my workout.

hi mary!

Even on nights when I know I should be packing and I know I should be designing stepping away from that all for a home-cooked meal with my #1 crush can be JUST what the doctor ordered.

Lots of text time, and giggle time and face time with my favorite gurls....you can never go wrong.  Swapping sob stories, laughing at the hard times and knowing, just KNOWING you will get through it all with them by your side.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I get by with a little help from my friends!

What works for all you fancy readers?  You better believe this isn't the last of ahhh freakout! posts in the upcoming weeks, so any suggestion is welcomed and appreciated!

What's this?

This is what happens when you get the flu during packing week and can't eat your soup from your packing go-to tupperware for fear you'd melt it.

Be back soon.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Soup tease.

I subscribe to this blog called Finding Vegan, right?  It's basically a newbie vegan's dream in that it posts vegan recipes by the dozens daily.  Truly by the dozens.  You don't believe me?  Ask the 38 unread blog posts in my Vegan Foodie folder of my Bloglovin' page.  ANYWAY, I digress.  This morning, as I was perusing said Finding Vegan site, I come across this lovely image.

::via::

We all know I'm craving a hot bowl of homemade soup lately, so I think to myself:  "Humm..something creamy that's vegan?  (which is very hard to come across b/c all things that make life wonderful, rich and creamy is most certainly not vegan)  I want to check this site out!"

So I do.  

And what happens?!

I CAN'T READ A D@MN THING.

http://www.chaudronpastel.fr/2012/07/02/video-creme-angelique-courgette-sans-gluten-vegan/ 

The world can be so cruel.  

No hot, creamy, homemade vegan goodness in a bowl for this girl.

Wahh wahh.

My first job as a Graphic Designer was working for Vanity.  I was still in college when I began interning with them and so was very used to the group feedback sessions, constructive criticism and aid of my { amazing } instructors.  I will never, ever forget my first graphic design project with Vanity.  I had to create a coupon!  A coupon to be sent to a specific store to help bump up sales.  I hardly remembered the name of my boss at the time, though I still remember EXACTLY what I was wearing.  My favorite { I still own them } light denim jeans with { admitted, self prompted } holes in the knee and thy.  I was wearing my favorite teal shirt { again, still own } that I wore the day of my sister's 21st birthday.  I was using a coral and teal beautimus purse that my sister made for me { and again, still to this day own }.  I remember the exact layout of the coupon, the color story and the discount.  I was beyond anxious to show it to my boss.  What will her feedback be?  What will her critique be?  Where was Yvonne when I needed her to tell me what I could do to improve this?  I finally muster up my strength, show it to Denise and what does she say?  "It looks great!  Print 300 and we'll get them shipped off."  Wha?  That easy, eh?

What isn't important about this story is what I was wearing, or what I had for lunch that day.  Or even how well I did in Graphic Design school.  What is important, is the name of the mall that was on that coupon.

Town Center of Aurora.

The same mall that is directly across the street from Century 16.
The same mall that was witness to one of the most selfish, bone-chilling and downright hideous disasters to happen to Colorado since Columbine.

I have been thinking all morning how extremely forchinate I am, that the closest I came to this catastrophe was mailing a silly coupon to the mall across the street from the site about 7 years ago.  Not everyone is that lucky.

Go out and hug your sister, hug your mother, hug your father, hug your brother.  Hug anyone who is close to you, because you can and because you ARE that lucky.

jklfdgv,.dfkgl*

*I know Mary, that's a totally typical text shared between us, so I'm sorry if you read that and thought "Hey!  What the heck is Beth texting me via her blog for?!"

Words can't expres the roller-coaster our life has been since Easter Sunday.  Well, actually - that's an exaggeration.  Words can express, I just don't have  the patience, or ability to stay awake to convey them long enough right now.  Instead, I'll speak via lists, which sometimes are my favorite blog posts:

{ 1 } I'm loving the cars passing by, windows open with a fresh breeze, cuddled up in my Mary quilt and a cat on my chest as I type this.
{ 2 } However, it's making me miss my Hunter and our last few nights spent at his parents, with what feels like the exact same breeze, something painful right now.
{ 3 } I'm really looking forward to work tomorrow.  The routine.  The showering before 4pm.
{ 4 } I wish i could post a sign behind my chair reading "No questions, today.  Thanks for coming by."  Much like a "Don't feed the animals." sign at the zoo.
{ 5 } I just cried on the phone telling Hunter how much I loved him.  Pathetic?  Maybe.  However, 100% truth.
{ 6 } I understand how frazzled and random this post is, please do forgive me.  I swear to you, when I have the energy and the strength I will elaborate.
{ 7 } I can't stop listening to this song.  Don't act surprised.  I know I'm not.

{ 8 } I whole heartily thought today was Thursday.  Wrongggggg-o.
{ 9 } I had a lot of time this week to really dig into my book The Shadow of the Wind, and so far I seriously can't get enough!
{ 10 } When I just went to type that into Google, I accidentally typed in The Shadow of the Wine.
{ 11 } Bedtime for Bethy.  Night night.

BRB.

I'll  be MIA for the next few days - in the meantime...write a list of everyone you are thankful for.  Dogs, cats, parents, siblings, coworkers.  After you write that list, personally call each and everyone of them and tell them how much you love them and how lucky you are to know them.  Trust me, you won't regret it.

BRB.

TGI....T??

Wait a minute, shouldn't that be an F at the end of that blog title??!  Just goes to show you how long my week has been - aaaaaand it's only the end of Tuesday.  After a squeamishly hellish day yesterday, and a 12 hour day logged at work today - I. Am.  Spent.  Granted, the last 2'ish hours of today was spent at a work dinner, so though we weren't sitting and working behind a desk, it still required the heels, dress, and attitude of work.  Though my hair was down today, it can't really be down while at work.

Okay, I don't even know what that means, so I don't expect you to.

Even though tomorrow is Wednesday and not quite Friday, that means one day closer to when H comes back from spending QT some time in Wyoming with his parental units.  Though he'll be working until Friday, I just feel so much better having him in a closer zip code.

So here I sit at my unwinding-from-the-day kitchen table.  In my favorite pair of {Hunter's} sweatpants, a track jacket, the highest top knot I could muster and a steaming hot cup of tea.  My bed is calling my name, and for realz, who am I to say no to THAT?!  Plus, our 8am presentations will come sooner than I'd care for them to.

I hope your Tuesday was filled with butterflies, sunshine, sugar and spice.  And if they weren't...don't tell me.  Just allow me to pretend that they were.  ; >

True story.

{ source }

I'll be back tomorrow with more smiley faces and exclamation points, I promise.

Heavily happy heart.

It is absolutely impossible for me to put in words the memories, feelings, thoughts and emotions I've had in the past 84 hours. I need to set aside a few hours to type it all out, because though painful, I really want to write this experience all out in words as to not forget anything, no matter how devastating they may be. I understand how utterly vague that statement is, but just bear with me. However, my support system, per usual, is on fire. It's the hour long impromptu 10am coffee date on a Monday morning where when words couldn't find their way, tears sufficed and somehow told the story the way it needed to be told. { which, by the way, there is something so painfully beautiful about sitting at a table with someone who means more to you than you will ever be able to express to them, looking each other square in the eye, and simply crying that is so unbearably healing. It is a moment that is so real, raw, vulnerable yet 100% honest. } It's the constant flow of IM's and text messages which really is more like a hug and just knowing the love that is put into those words. It's the silence between two people that says more than any words of encouragement ever could.

Right now:
I am loving watching the clouds pass through in the sky. Knowing another day has come, and is going before our very eyes.
I am itchy to get out of work, throw on my running clothes and new shoes Hunter surprised me with {ekk!!}, going for a run with him, then perusing the isles of Whole Foods for our dinner tonight, BBQ'ing out in the backyard, dreaming up the garden for the summer, playing checkers, creating moments and simply being.
I am dreading going through my work email because there are always, always, always too many emails.
I am pounding water to get rid of this headache.
Above all, I am so happy to have the ability to do all of the things above.

Please do me a favor. Please call your mom today just because you can. Call her and laugh with her, or cry with her. Retell stories from the past. Share secrets. Make a list of what you are most excited for in the future. Tell her you love her. If you are mad at her, forgive her. If you are annoyed with her, ignore it. At the end of the day, are those things really worth holding on to when our time here is so short and so precious?! I didn't think so either.

I know this post is all over the place, so my apologies. It's just what is on my mind and heart today.

What is on YOUR mind or heart today?!

And last but not least, a pix, and people, that make my heart uncontrollably and unquestionably happy.